The Original Wing

I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE I'M FASHION FORWARD

2008-04-08T13:40:00.000-07:00

In the breast cancer community besides all the obvious words that nobody wants to hear, there is another word, Lymphadema. This is a condition that can occur as a result of removing Lymph nodes from under the arm because the cancer has moved from the breast to the lymph nodes or they suspect that this is the case. Lymphadema occurs because the Lymphatic System is compromised and can no longer move the fluids around the body correctly, resulting is swelling in the arm and hand and can become quite severe resulting in infections and other problems. Unfortunately there is no cure for this condition and so prevention and immediate intervention is important. Today I had to meet with a therapist to educate and train me on dealing with this problem. She took one look at my arm and said, "It looks to me like you have some "L" word. I told her that I wasn't feeling any symptoms and my arms are chronically fat because they match my hips and thighs." Well, we spent a couple of hours together and I must admit that I learned a lot some of which could prove to be very helpful. Apparently, repetitive motion is not a friend of "L" word. Some of the activities that she listed were vacuuming, ironing, scrubbing, washing windows, anything where you repeat the motion. (Darn!) Of course you could use your other hand, simple solution. Way too simple, therefore it must be flawed!! Besides this is my right arm we are talking about and I am right handed. No more heavy lifting with that arm, so I can quit training for Mrs. Universe - That's a relief!! I had to downsize my purse. No more backpacks and heavy purses. This required the purchase of a really cute purse. (Medically necessary!)

The Lady that I met with this morning sent me over to Stella, the lady who was going to fit me for this lovely compression sleeve and glove. Stella took one look at me and said, "Looks to me like you have some "L" word." What? She left the room to get some sleeves for me to try and I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Oh, how I was hoping to avoid this problem. I wanted that first lady to be wrong. By the time Stella returned with the sleeves I had regained my composure. Now this sleeve goes from my wrist to my arm pit and it has a very fashionable fingerless glove that comes with it. Of course, it is flesh colored so I doubt anyone will ever even notice it. (Even I'm not that delusional.) I feel a little like a rock star, "Yo Yo down in the hood!" One final kicker to this amusing day. I have quite large varicose veins on my legs so they thought I should also get thigh high compression socks. Oh will the fun ever end!!?

I have divulged my secrets and you have seen me at my worst! I felt a little like crying today but tell me, what good would that do besides I am now focused on the fashion industry. You can't tell me that with some of the fashion out there that I couldn't have a chance to make my compression socks (they really suck the fat in) and my compression sleeve (it looks like you belong in the hood) popular!!?? Kelly, Tracy, Megan and Morgan you are fashionistas, can you get on this?

2008-04-03T04:07:00.000-07:00

I'M GOING TO BRAG FOR A MOMENT.....

2008-04-03T01:59:00.000-07:00

Okay, so this might be a string of moments but I figure that I'm a mother and that is what mothers do.

Morgan has been attending The University of Utah this past year as a freshman on a soccer scholarship. Freshman year is traditionally known to be a challenging year because of all the adjustments that must be made but I really must say that her freshman year while having all the standard challenges was fraught with many additional difficulties.

The soccer season started off quite well and she was starting and playing every game. We were fortunate enough to fly up to Utah for several games and also attend some of her away games. In October while playing in a game against Utah Valley University she tore her ACL, partially tore her LCL and Meniscus ending her freshman season, requiring surgery and necessitating a 6 month rehab.

It was in the very same week that she was injured that I made the painfully difficult phone call to tell her that I had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. This was very troubling news and she seemed much more worried about me than the pending knee issues. Oh, the lengths we mothers will go to to help our children. (Just kidding) We both ended up having surgery the same week so neither Doug nor I were able to be with her to help her get through that first very painful week. Thank heavens for Megan and Ryan who came to the rescue. They brought her home to their tiny apartment and even gave up their bed. Boyfriend Ryan was Johnny on the Spot trying to meet all her needs. I found solace in knowing that she was in such good hands. She has wanted so much to be here with me and that has been difficult but I get my multiple phone calls every day.

The University of Utah has turned out to be a little more of a commuter school than she had hoped and at times this has been quite challenging to deal with. Fortunately, Ryan her boyfriend and best friend, who she had also dated in high school, was also attending U of U for the Fall Semester but he was leaving to go on a mission at the end of January so it was about to get more challenging. The first two weeks we had tearful phone calls every night and we had to call her in off the ledge. She spent a lot of time with Megan, Ryan and Addie which helped a lot along with numerous phone calls to all of her other siblings. It would be much harder to raise your kids without the help from brothers, sisters and brother-in-laws. We are passed the "jump lady jump" stage and she has settled into a routine of writing, reading and dating.

Here is the bragging part - in spite of all these issues she managed to make the Presidents Honor Roll, be inducted into the National Honor Society and the NCAA Student Athlete Award. Tim said, "There must be a mistake and he has started an investigation". (He is just kidding.)

Typically an injury like the one that she sustained would take up to a year for recovery to be cleared to play again. She was just tested and her knee functions rated into the high 90% range and so she has been cleared to play and it has only been ( I say "only", she feels like it has been an eternity) 6 months. This required considerable effort and focus on her part. She has done physical therapy and strength training nearly every day for 6 months and it obviously paid off.

I had a long conversation with her tonight and she was explaining to me how difficult this year has been and that there were many times when she really wasn't sure that she could do what needed to be done. She told me how up until this year her life had been sailing along quite smoothly. She hadn't really had many trials to overcome. This year, while she will be glad to see it come to a close she is very grateful for all the things that she has learned.

As her Mom I am impressed by all that she has accomplished but I am most proud of the growth that I have seen in all aspects of her life. Growth through trials is ground hard fought for and you have to leave some on the battlefield. You have to dig deep into your soul and find the courage and strength you need to do things that you don't think you can do. You have to put to the test your faith that The Lord knows and loves you and understands and cries every single tear with you. In our conversation tonight it was clear to me that she has walked this path and the things that she has learned and are still learning have changed her life forever.

I love you, Morgan and I am very proud of you.

2008-04-03T01:55:00.000-07:00

GRANDKIDS ARE OUR BLESSING FOR GETTING OLDER

2008-04-03T01:15:00.000-07:00

Caden, Taylor and now Carter have all learned how to call me on their Mom's cell phones. This came as quite a shock to their Mom's when I told them how much I appreciated the cute phone calls that I was receiving. Tracy asked Taylor, "Do you know how to call Grandma?" " Sure that is easy, " was the reply. You just have to push the one that says "M-o-m". Well, the cat's out of the bag, but I d my secret phone calls. Caden and Taylor call me almost every Wednesday to see how Attitude Adjustment (aka Chemo) went that day and today was no exception. Taylor was delighted to learn that everything went well and I was feeling great! She wanted to know if I could be around people again and I told her that I could but that I still had to be careful. She then said, " You have to be careful because you don't want to get them sick?" "Well not exactly," I said. "I have to be careful because I don't want them to make me sick". "Oh," she said. The next thing she wanted to know was if I was eating blueberries everyday because they are very good for me and they will make me healthy. I told her that she was absolutely right and that I was trying to eat plenty of fruit, including blueberries, and lots of vegetables. She seemed to be relieved to here this and then when I told her that I was also trying to walk everyday she was more than a little proud. Tracy, you have obviously done a good job teaching the importance of nutrition and exercise. Caden and Carter have been in Orlando, Florida for the week having a wonderful time so I didn't get my usual phone call from them, I am assuming that the cell phones are more closely guarded or maybe I just can't compete with Disney World and Epcot. I choose to believe that the cell phones are unavailable. (Delusion a side effect of Chemo!)

FROM BOY TO MAN

2008-03-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

WOW !!!

2008-03-20T13:08:00.000-07:00

This is a copy, mistakes and all, of the email that we got from McKay this week. It is the follow-up email to the one he wrote to tell us that Randy Pesce had died. It is difficult for me to find the words to tell you just how proud I am proud of this kid, man. He has served his mission with his whole heart and soul, putting everything he had into it, holding nothing back.

"hey family,.This was the most growth i have ever had in my life over such a short period of time. in my e-mail i showed signs of doubt and fear but now i have none i have a unshakable knowledge of the plan of salvation mainly the ressurection and the life after we leave this mortal by. i KNOW that after we leave this place that we go to a place best phrased by alma as a state of happiness of rest of peace, to have no sorrow or care. That we wil stay there there both righteuous and wicked until the time goes for us to be ressurected to our mortal body. i know that this is true. I Know GOD HEARS and ANSWERS prayers of his children here on earth I KNOW. I KNOW that through the direction of the father that all the earths and all creature were made by him and through him and that nothing was made that wasn't made by him. I KNOW that christ died for all man kind saint or sinner, woman or man. I KNOW that he did indeed was hung on the cross of calvary that he told the father forgive them for they know not what they do then he gave up the ghost for they could not kill him, I KNOW that 3 days later that he did indeed rise form the that the first ressurrection did happen that becasue of that unmatchless act that we may all live tho we will died we will live again. I KNOW that we will be restored to our perfect frame. That all who have lived and died without the knowledge of the gospel will have that opportunity to hear the glorious message of the restoration and of baptism and repretance and receiving the holy ghost. and I KNOW that the rightous forces that have been called to preach this gospel from the spirit world , have a special power and authority just as we do here and that the same work is happening there and that grampa and grama and randy and gordan jump and jay plewe, and grampa baldwin are those chosen ones along with many others. I KNOW that the temple ordiances are sacred and that we can INherit all the father has if we live by these concvants we have made. That some day we will have our own eternal families. I KNOW that there is prohet on the earth today his name is THOMAS S. MONSON that he is the high priest on the earth he holds the keys to preside over this earth. And I KNOW that the preisthood of god, The sealing power that peter talks about are again on the earth I KNOW that the boy Josphe saw GOD the FATHER and JESUS the rise lord in the grove of trees that he has restore his gospel to the earth never to be be taken away again. that families can be together forever, literally bound together, depneding on our works and our intents of our heart here on earth. AND I KNOW that we are placed in certain places and experinces to grow and to learn and to have our own spirit remmber what we have learned in the pre motral life. that we will receive that knowldge one very small piece at a time, according to our faith in GOD the ETERNAL FATHER. and that we are placed in our families for a prupose , hand picked to be in these families, that we are sent to far off places to meet certain people, to share the gospel with a specific somone, to comfort a grieving brother or sister. when they are in doubt or fear, i KNOW that the people we are close with that we had a personal relationship before this life and that is why it is so hard to say goodbye when one leaves but the thing we need to remmber is that it is never goodbye it is see you later. goodbye was done away with when jesus christ the rise lord came forth that easter morining. And final I KNOW that GOD LIVES, that he loves us we are his children we loves us. HE KNOWS all and that he is the master planner. that he will give us what we are in need of at the very time we need it. that we will never get anything more than we can handle . I KNOW. I KNOW that you can KNOW also if you read stude and pray with a fervent heart with the most sincerity that you have, that you will to KNOW. i love you all so mcuh you are an inspiration to me. thank you for you prayers.

I love you all.

elder SKEEN

2008-03-12T18:45:00.000-07:00

2008-03-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

WHISKERS ARE BACK !!

2008-03-12T14:52:00.000-07:00

No, this isn't the name of my favorite cat. Ordinarily this would be one of those "I can tell you but then I will have to kill you" kind of circumstances but these are not ordinary times. This morning when I was getting ready for "AA", no I haven't started drinking, this stands for Attitude Adjustment. I was penciling on my eyebrows, that is another blog. Hide all the sharpy markers!! I looked down at my chin and I thought I saw some little whiskers growing. Of course I grabbed the "lighted high powered magnifying mirror" and sure enough there they were just as big as life (not without the magnifying mirror). My heart started leaping for joy, which is incidentally about the only kind of leaping I am doing these days. This you might think is a strange reaction. It does conjure up images of the "Bearded Lady in the Circus," maybe something to think about when Doug retires if they have benefits. I moved the mirror up to the top of my head, after all if there was hair growing on my chin maybe also on my head. To my joy I think those little stubbies just might be growing!! I have decided to include some pictures with this blog. There are two of the room where I do Chemo, including one of the chair in the corner with the plant for decoration that I previously blogged about. Three that document my G.I Jane Coiffeur, the little hair soldiers who managed to hang on in spite of overwhelming odds, and if you look very, very, carefully at the horizon you can see some possible growth. The three of me are not for the faint of heart. Close your eyes, have a friend read the blog and share it with you, take anti nausea medication or just "let your hair down" (chemo joke) and simply go for it!

THE PASSING OF A WONDERFUL FRIEND....

2008-03-11T16:15:00.000-07:00

Today we received our Tuesday missionary email as usual, but this letter wasn't so usual. I have written in the past about a wonderful lady, Randy Pesce, who lived in Columbus, Indiana. She has been battling cancer for several years and Saturday she lost that battle. She was in her mid 50's, with a married son, a daughter about 20 named Jenna, and two younger children Dallin 11 and Olivia 12. As parents we pray for those special people and experiences that can touch the lives of our children for good leaving them forever changed and this lady was one of those people for McKay. We were fortunate enough to meet her when she came to California for her son's wedding. They came to church with us and then we spent the rest of the day visiting. What a wonderful family, Randy and I felt an immediate connection and it was clear to me why McKay loved this family so much. The news of her passing was very upsetting to me today and I will miss her email's and our phone conversations. However, like McKay I am glad that she is no longer suffering. I would like to share his letter with you. While you can clearly see that this is a very difficult time for him, I'm sure that she would be jumping for joy to read this letter.

"Hey guys on Saturday Randy passed away. President Corey let me and Elder Winburn drive down to Columbus for the funeral. I was happy that he let us do that because it is pretty far. I was fine all the way down there but as soon as I saw all the family I started to cry. I never remember crying that much in one day except for when Grandma passed away. The service was very good. Though I am struggling big time right now, I know that she is in a better place. All my prayers have been answered. I wanted her to be at peace, I wanted her not to be in pain anymore, I wanted the best for her and I wanted Heavenly Father's will. I feel like a huge piece of me is gone and I cried the whole way home.
.....It feel like I had 2 Moms and now one is gone but it is just for a short while. I am trying to be positive like Randy. I have rededicated myself to be the best priesthood holder for my wife and my kids, she always used to tell me that, "Be the best priesthood holder you can be," and there were so many more things. I am so grateful for my decision to serve a mission. I have been able to baptize people into The Lord's church and I had the opportunity to meet the best lady in the world. I'm sure that she would be mad at me for crying.
....I was able to be Randy's mom's escort at the burial grounds and I gave Olivia my jacket because she was cold - it was a very good day. I really wish that I could have said good bye to her but I know she would have said, "It will all be okay, it will all be okay." Please pray for me to have the strength to focus on what I need to do right now. This is what I need and want to do. Randy would want me to work my head off for the next 4 months and finish my mission strong so I will honor her by doing this now and for the rest of my life. Jenna said, "just because this happened to my Mom doesn't mean it will happen to yours, have faith!! She is such an awesome and her testimony of the gospel is very very strong. I want to have a wife with a testimony like that.
....Mom, everyone kept asking about you. That was very touching to me. Jenna said that they always include you in their prayers. That family is so awesome.
Mom, call Jenna tonight if you can and tell her how much we care about them and that if they need anything, we are the people. I'm sorry I didn't even get to read emails today, maybe you could mail them. I need to close but I want you to know that I am so grateful for The Plan of Salvation. I can't even imagine how I would feel right now if we didn't have it. I am so grateful for eternal families - remember that okay! I love you all so much. Please pray for Jenna and the kids and their whole family. I love you all !!!

Elder Skeen

IT'S ALL IN THE LANDING

2008-02-28T08:19:00.000-08:00

Today was "Attitude Adjustment Day". Every week I arrive with food in hand, in my effort to provide sustenance to my ailing pals. Some of them have no appetite at all and look like skeletons covered with skin while others seem to enjoy having something to snack on. I feel like there is so little that I can do and this seems to be something that most everyone can enjoy to some degree.

As I arrived I popped my head in the Chemo room and my new friend that I wrote about recently who is terminal, was already there and I noticed that there was a chair next to her that was vacant so I quickly staked my claim. As I approached the chair I noticed that her nose was bandaged and she had cuts and bruises on her face. I asked her how she was doing and she said fine and then I asked her about her about the condition of her face. She explained that her friend had picked her up and they were just driving away, and she didn't have her seat belt on yet, when someone rear-ended them. Being unrestrained her face hit the dashboard and as a result she sustained a broken nose and all those cuts and scraps and bruises. This lady needs some serious TLC and I am going to give it my best shot. We had a nice visit today and I feel like I am making some headway.

Before they start the Chemo they have to administer several other drugs that help you to tolerate the chemo. One of the things that they give me a hefty dose of Benadryl. I swear it takes less than a minute for that to kick in. It just washes over my body and I get so sleepy and suddenly it is lights out. Now, one of the side effects, there are many and some are more endearing than others, is this sinus condition that I have had since December. I have difficulty breathing and therefore snoring is a serious problem. When I am at home snuggled in my bed and it is only Doug, who knows all my good qualities and manages to overlook the bad ones, that I am annoying it isn't so bad, well for me. However, snoring in public while probably drooling down my chin is something else again. I have now made Arla, my nurse, promise with an oath written in blood, hers not mine, because she can spare the white cells right now, that she will never let me embarrass myself while I am there. I in turn promised that if she woke me up I would try not to eject myself out of my recliner, but if by some chance I do eject that I would try to stick the landing and make her proud.

The comfy recliner that I was lucky enough to stake out today just happened to be in the corner of the room with plenty of room to recline and even a hanging plant over my head for decoration. Really the service is very good. After all I bring the snack which Arla serves me and she hooks me up to liquid refreshment, I usually end up taking a nap and they provide the pillow and homemade quilt. Note to self: Check to see if they have a point system like the Marriott? I mean seriously, I think next time I will leave a tip.

MY ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

2008-02-21T19:15:00.000-08:00

Wednesday is the day that I go for Chemotherapy Treatments and I have referred to it as, "Chemo Day." I have, however, decided to rename this day to"Attitude Adjustment Day" and this is the reason why. It seems like every time I go I am fortunate enough to meet someone absolutely and completely amazing. I did a posting about my experience last week and this week was another "grab you by the heart leaving you speechless fighting back the tears" experience. The woman I met was, as near as I could tell, about my age. I introduced myself and was immediately impressed by her big smile and pleasant demeanor. I asked her about her circumstances and how treatment was going for her and found out that we were following the very same regimen only she was ahead of me by a few weeks. I asked her how the dreaded 8 weeks of AC (Adriamyacin and Cytoxin) had gone for her and she took a deep breath and winced at the thought of it. I told her that I really understood her pain and how glad I was to be done with that part of the treatment. Then came the "adjustment." She told me how she had been diagnosed in October and started the dreaded AC and it was right after treatment # 2 that her husband had surgery for a routine hernia repair. As a result of his surgery he suffered a bowel obstruction which then resulted in severe infection and he suddenly died in November. I sat there almost not believing what I was hearing and then without even thinking reached out to hug this courageous lady. I asked her how she was dealing with all of this and she said that it had been a very very difficult 5 months but that she was figuring it out. My experience hadn't even scratched the surface of her pain. Gratitude for all that I have been blessed with completely filled my soul and I vowed once again to try to lift, support and ease the pain.

DO YOU RELATE?

2008-02-13T23:52:00.000-08:00

THE GOODNESS OF PEOPLE IS ASTOUNDING

2008-02-13T22:59:00.000-08:00

From the very first day that I was diagnosed with cancer I have had been the recipient of so much love and support that it is difficult to describe how I feel. I understand how a heart can "overflow with gratitude" because mine has been overflowing for months. I appreciate the love of family and friends and feel completely unworthy and humbled to my very core. You have taught me so much, thank you.

I have had a "secret pixie" who started dropping off notes of encouragement and little gifts early in December never missing one day. I wanted to share a letter that this person left for me on my last day of intense chemo, along with some beautiful roses.

"Dear Linda,

In early December before your chemotherapy began, I heard you say that you had decided that anyone can do just about anything for eight weeks. In trying to decide what I could do to lend support over those first difficult eight weeks, the idea of the daily positive thought formulated in my mind. I promptly purchased 60 pink envelopes and began gathering what I hoped would be uplifting and inspirational words to help you through the first 56 days of treatment. I can't believe those days are now behind you! I'm so happy for you!

I want you to know how much my entire family has loved participating in this small daily service. I'm sure you have seen at least one of us dashing away from your doorstep. Your sweet thank you cards and kind gifts helped my children understand that service is rewarding in more ways than one! Thank you for your thoughtfulness. We hope that even if you know who we are that we can forever remain your "secret note pixies".

I know that you have made it over this major hurdle but that there will still be difficult days ahead. So we would like to continue sending words of encouragement you way, but perhaps weekly will suffice so that it won't grow old.

Please know that your courage and dignity have truly been more inspirational than any profound quote I could ever share. Your example of faith will not only bless the lives of your children and grandchildren, but all of us who know and love you. When challenges come into my life, as I know they will, I will lean on your example of strength.

With gratitude and love,
Your Secret Note Pixie

What a great lesson in service this inspired Mom has taught me.

I'M FINALLY BACK.....

2008-02-13T22:01:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time since I did any blogging and I really should be asked to turn in my blogging badge.

I have finished with the toughest part of my Chemo Treatment and I am so happy to be saying Adios to that. I just had my second of twelve chemo treatments today which is a much easier treatment. I have many of the standard side effects but none of the difficult ones from the first round of treatments and this is going to be a piece of cake. The lady who administers my treatments told me that not everyone reacts so favorably and so once again my heart is very full of gratitude. Today while at Chemo, which is done in a room filled with maybe 20 Recliners lined up against the walls with everyone is in close proximity, I happened to sit next to a lady who was maybe my age or a little younger who shared some of her story with me. She had gone to the doctor for a physical for insurance and they discovered that she had a brain turmor which had also mestasized to her lungs. She said that the doctor's have told her that she is terminal and that she will probably do Chemo for the rest of her life, however long that is. Let me tell you if that doesn't throw life into perspective then nothing will. I wish I could take back any tears of discouragement I have cried. After I finished treatment I made it to the solitude of my car and I started weeping for this lady. I vowed today that I would make her a priority every time I go for treatment. Last week there was a lady who was completing her final treatment that day and I congratulated her and wished her well and there were hugs all around but somehow it seemed anticlimactic. Shouldn't there be party hats and people wearing funny noses to celebrate? Today I got my answer - not everyone will be so fortunate. For now there will have to be well wishes, hugs and congratulations and a few tears all around.

This Will Not get the Breast of Me !

2007-12-18T17:58:00.000-08:00

THIS WILL NOT GET THE BREAST OF ME.....

Today was the day of "the first Chemo treatment". One down and only 15 more to go. I have dreaded it and welcomed it all at the same time. I was nervous about all the unknown but so anxious to get on with this show. Here are some things I have learned:

The cancer community is a complete sub-culture that I didn't realize even existed. They love, lift and support everyone.
I keep meeting people who want to "give back". For example, today at Chemo they gave me two gifts. One was a bag full of things to help you during Chemo like several books, a journal, a crocheted scarf and hat, a ball cap, lotion, mouthwash, a little notebook that you can put in your purse to take notes and more. The second gift was a little padded fleece pillow-like thing that you use with your seatbelt strap so it doesn't rub on the Port-a-Catheter ( a device that is surgically implanted just under your collar bone that they use to administer the ). Now here is the amazing part - the first gift is from a cancer support group and they provide these for everyone. The second gift came from the husband of a woman currently going through Chemo. He comes to all of her appointments with his fleece, batting, needle and thread and while she is getting her treatment he makes his gifts. I will share some other stories later. This has caused me to think, HOW CAN I GIVE BACK? I'm working on that.....
I just read an article written by Elizabeth Edwards (John Edwards wife) who is battling cancer. She said this, "We spend our lives weaving a tapestry of sorts. The largest ribbons of color are our family and closest friends. But a tapestry made up of just these has gaps. The other people we weave into our lives - some only as thin threads - are what give our life its texture and its strength. They fill the gaps in the most amazing ways. Their colors reflect on the ribbons and on us. Weaving them into our tapestry creates for each of us a magnificent, dense and interesting life. And when life takes a wrong turn, that tapestry becomes a blanket (bound together by our faith in God) that we can wrap around us or a safety net into which we can fall."
Thank you to everyone for your phone calls, email's, gifts, cards and prayers. You have all taught me the true meaning of friendship, love and compassion. I LOVE YOU !

Love,
Linda

"KEEPING YOU A BREAST"

2007-11-14T21:41:00.000-08:00

September 11, 2007, I had an appointment for my yearly mammogram. It was uneventful except for the usual "fun" associated with such tests. Then I got the phone call to return for a second mammogram. This one confirmed that there were some microcalcifications present in the right breast and the radiologist recommended that I do a biopsy of the area. The 3 days that I waited to get the results from that biopsy were very long days. Unfortunately, when the call came from Doctor Noorian, he substaniated the diagnosis that I had BREAST CANCER. When I hung up the phone I just stood there waiting for my brain to catch-up to what my ears had just heard. I didn't cry because it didn't seem real. Had he just told me that I had The Big "C"? I called Doug at the office to tell him and thus began a very strange journey.
Since that time I have had a chest X-Ray, Pap-smear, MRI, another biopsy this time on the left and right , a CAT Scan, an Ultrasound, blood work, EKG and a PET Scan and another biopsy. I am starting to feel like a lab rat. Tim, my son-in-law told me that they should donate me to science. From all this they determined that I have Stage II Invasive Breast Cancer with 2 enlarged and suspicious lymph nodes. Wow! When they tell you this news it is like somebody just sucked all the air out of the room or punched you in the stomach. Then came the unpleasant task of calling my family and friends. Those were difficult phone calls to make especially to my children. I knew that this news was going to be shocking, frightening and painful and I could hardly bare that thought but I knew that it must be done. To further complicate the situation Morgan, who is playing soccer at the University of Utah, tore her ACL, LCL, the lateral and medial meniscuses, while playing in a game this same week. How would she handle my news on top of what she was already dealing with? What about McKay serving his mission in Indiana? How would he deal with this news and would it distract him from his mission? All I can say is that I seriously underestimated the strength and faith of my children. They circled the wagons and in those moments when I needed their strength they carried me. I wrote a letter to McKay to tell him and the letter that I received back from him astounded me. In it he said many comforting things and then he closed with this, "I love you guys so much and thank you for everything that you do for me. I miss you all very much and this mountain that we have all run into is nothing. Think of it like this. When you are mountain climbing you can't do it by yourself, you need a team to work together to get things done and to give support. We need to do that very thing. The Lord gave us a mountain so we could learn how to climb. We need to stick together and become stronger. I love you guys!!!!! Love Elder Skeen" Lead by Doug, everyone jumped into action. Megan became a breast cancer expert in a week and everyone was helping and supporting each other. I'm telling you they are truly amazing.
At this point I have surgery scheduled for Friday, November 16. Deciding on the surgical procedures was a grueling process, some of the most difficult decisions I have ever made. That is a whole blog post all of it's own. The most amazing part of this journey has been all the blessings that have come as a result of it. I have learned so much. There have been little epiphanies and personal revelations and deeper understandings and I have seen the hand of The Lord working in my life every single day over and over again and I feel very grateful.
I have come to see this as a difficult experience with many blessings and countless opportunites attached to it. I have been handed a very special chance to teach my children and grandchildren how we deal with difficult times and challenges in our lives and to demonstrate by example, my faith that the Lord knows us and loves us and He is the source of the peace that we seek.

2007-09-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

NEWS FROM INDIANA

2007-09-09T09:26:00.000-07:00

McKay has become very close with a family in Columbus named the Pesce's. Sister Pesce has been battling cancer for quite some time and it has now returned for a fourth time. There isn't very much that the doctor's can do for her and they are telling her that her time is short. This has been a difficult experience for McKay to watch and he talked about it in his last letter.

"......she is just the coolest lady, next to the Dre of course, but she is just amazing. She is like my Mom on my mission because she is always telling me what to do and about life and marriage and all this stuff. Every night when I am praying, I get to the point where I am praying for her and I start to cry. I wish I could take on some of her pains and just let her sleep good for one night and feel good for just one day. I want to help her and she says that I do, but I want to do more than just clean her car and things like that - I am struggling with it right now.

.....We are playing dodge ball today and we are taking some of the youth with us, it should be fun. I am sending some pictures of our dodge ball team, we are really sick!

Paul is getting baptized this weekend and I will be baptizing him. I am really stoked for that and I want to feel extra worthy and in tune so I have been focusing on that.

Someone tried to break into our house last night through the roof and someone stole a bunch of money from Vic, the guy who owns the furniture store we live in, so we are going to start carrying knives with us ( ha ha ha, just kidding don't freak out Mom). But I have to go. I love you guys very much. I got the pictures of Clayton. I love you all and thanks for everything.

Elder Skeen

2007-09-08T09:16:00.000-07:00

MORGAN BECOMES A UTE

2007-09-08T08:52:00.000-07:00

Morgan is settled into school and soccer at the University of Utah. Her schedule is rigorous and it requires good balancing skills ( good preparation for motherhood - all you new mother's will appreciate that). She has been in school for 3 weeks and she has been to Arizona, California, Colorado and Washington with a scrimmage against Weber State in Salt Lake. Megan and Ryan will be blessing Addison next week and Morgan has two games in Salt Lake that weekend so we are able to pack a lot of family bonding into one weekend. Doug and I plan to fly up for several more games and the schedules even permitted a BYU football game or two. Doug has had a little trouble switching from Blue to Red but he now proudly wears his Utah Soccer T-shirt and red Utah hat.

GO UTES !!!!

Our family tree

2007-09-04T11:35:00.001-07:00

Here are some recent pictures of our family. We had Tracy and her kids down this weekend and Kelly and Tim came down also. The grandkids almost drove Doug to a hotel but when they were asleep it was great. We also went to watch Morgan play soccer for the first time. She is on a soccer scholarship to the University of Utah and starts as a freshman!!! We are very proud parents. There is also a picture of Linda at Caden's first soccer game giving him some directions during half time!

2007-08-09T21:50:00.000-07:00

MORGAN RIVER RAFTING WITH YOUNG WOMEN

2007-08-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

Morgan went to 's Camp this summer with the young women in the ward as a Youth Camp Leader. Girl's Camp always pales in comparison to the the High Adventure, Repelling, Rock Climbing, Motorcycle Riding, Water Skiing adventures of the boys program. For years I have wondered why the girl's never do any of the fun things that the boys do. Well this summer they finally did. Their destination was the Kern River. Apparently a well known and highly rated river for rafters. From the stories that I heard recounted it sounded like they had a lot of fun along with a few hair raising, heart stopping moments. Here are some fun pictures.

2007-08-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

MISSIONARY MESSAGE FROM INDIANA

2007-08-09T14:12:00.000-07:00

.....Sunday was cool Tim got the Aaronic Priesthood and was ordained to be a Priest, so that was very cool. It is the best feeling in the world to see your converts get the Priesthood and see how they can change in a minute. Tim is just amazing, he is like Bruce Tharp. They are both just made for leadership in the church. Tim is stoked about his home teaching assignment. I gave Tim his scriptures and he was like, "What? For me? He liked them so much ! I know that you have spent a lot of money on scriptures but there are blessings that come from them, I hope that you feel it. I know that they have really blessed the lives of the people here. I am so grateful for your willingness to help my gators, thank you so much. It means a me and to them also.

It was a good week. We went to get Buffalo Wings with Cindy and her son Chris. I got some blazin' wings. they are the hottest ones you can get. Cindy and Chris said, "Are you sure that you want those?" I said, "Oh yeah, I am sure . I am the son of Doug Skeen, hot stuff is in my ."

...........I got the bishop to start having Missionary Correlation meeting. They have never had it before, so that will be good.

......I am excited for Kelly's new "something" to come. I want pictures. Maybe you could tell Sister Pesce, Mom, and she can call us. Well I love you all and have a good week.

Read your scriptures and pray for missionary opportunities. They are always there, we just have our blinders on. If we are always in tune with the spirit then the blinders will be off and our eyes will be open to the opportunities and The Lord will give us the words in the very hour, even in the very minutes that we need them. So take the Prophet Joseph Smith's advice and do it.

I love you all very much,

Elder Skeen

REFLECTIONS ON LEAVING THE NEST

2007-08-06T23:50:00.000-07:00

There was a time and it doesn't seem like that long ago that we had 5 little birds in our nest. One by one they have learned to fly and left our nest. Kelly was the first "fledgling" to take wing. I remember dropping her off at her dorm at what was then called "Rick's College" in Idaho. I had a big lump in my throat and struggled to repress my tears. My mind kept reviewing a laundry list of unanswered questions. Would she be happy there? Would she like her roommates? Would she do well in school and be ready for the challenges that lay ahead? Would she manage her finances responsibly? These were a few of the thoughts that flooded my mind. After helping her unload her car she turned and said, "Thanks, Mom I love you and I'll see you." "Wait, wait just a minute, where's the tears? Where's the pleading for me to stay, or at the very least, to not just leave her there with these total strangers. After all, didn't I teach her not to talk to strangers?" I hugged her and we left. On the long drive back to Utah my Mom, who had accompanied us, assured me that all would be well and reminded me that, "This is just the way I wanted her to feel, confident, happy and excited to begin life outside the nest." What I didn't know was that this was the beginning of what I call the "BIG PAYOFF". It didn't take very long after my return to the nest before the letters and phone calls of appreciation for home and family started. Don't get me wrong, she was deliriously happy and having the time of her life but she had move to the next level.

We have now seen 3 other fledglings take flight and their experiences have been very similar to Kelly's experience. I am the one who has changed. I no longer watch them leave with a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye (just a second I have something in my eye....) because I love to see the wonderful transformation that takes place from fledgling to soaring Eagle. As my last fledgling stands on the edge of the nest preparing to fly I reflect on my job as The Original Wing and I hope that, just like all her siblings before her, she will take to the sky with confidence and soar.

MISSIONARY MESSAGE

2007-07-31T23:15:00.000-07:00

McKay is a missionary serving in the Indianapolis, Indiana Mission. In this section you will find pictures and excerpts from his weekly e-mail.

"Hey guys,

How is everyone doing? I hope that everyone is doing well. I am doing great! We had transfer calls this morning and we didn't get a call but Elder Christensen did. He is the one I came out with. That sucks because I didn't want him to leave, we had fun together. But yeah we are all staying besides him. I think this is my last transfer here but I will get to see Paul get baptized and see Tim get the priesthood. I am excited about that. I can't believe how fast time goes by. I know I say that every week but you guys don't get it, it's unreal. It's not good, I don't like it. I don't want to sound mean or anything but I really don't want to come home. I love this. I don't think I have ever in my life felt so strongly about something, well besides BYU football and Angels baseball of course, but that's not counted. I don't know, it's weird, I would love to see everyone and everything but I like this a lot better than being at home. We had a very good week. A very balanced week which is very good. We had 6 with a member presentations and 11 others and 6 less actives and 2 new investigators and 2 recent converts. Very balanced, I like that a lot more than just getting 20 other lessons it's more effective when you balance it and it gives the Lord a chance to bless us in all aspects of the work not just one or two. Church was good, Paul was the only one who showed up but it was a good Sunday. We had to bless the sacrament and I haven't done that for a long time. I think I have only done it one time before this so I messed up on the prayer but I got it, it was fun though. Then in Gospel Principles Brother Renner ( He is like my best friend in the world out here. He is so cool and we are very close) was talking about the sacrament in his lesson and he said that everything has to be done to the "T" and he said when the sacrament prayer is not right, I will not point any fingers, Ha Ha Ha. I just laughed and said I did it because I knew you were teaching this lesson and I wanted to help you out a little. He just busted out laughing and everyone else too.

Last week on Thursday we went over to the Peaces, they are the ones from Costa Mesa. They are both 52 and they have 5 kids. The oldest ones are 2 sons in their mid 20's and a daughter 18 who was planning to come to California to attend Saddleback College but for now she is going to stay home and help with the family and take care of her Mom, and then Dallin and Oliva who are 10 and 11. Sister Peaces has had cancer like 4 times and it has come back and the doctor's are only giving her a few weeks left to live. We went to see her and we talked about life and everything and we talked about her and she said that it is crazy how think the veil is right now for her. She went to the temple and she said that she was in awe at everything that she saw, heard and felt. She is very in tune with the spirit. We talked about A's Burger's and the beach. She was very good friends with the Schelin's in your ward and it is Brother Peaces sister that lives in Newport Beach and she was very good friends with Gordon Jump. When she said that I got all choked up. All the feelings I felt when me and Dad would go see him and take him the sacrament and everything came back. I told her about it and what he would tell me, it was a very special moment."................"Sister Peaces invited us for brunch on Saturday and that was really cool. We talked about life and movies and plays and I told them that you guys had seen Wicked and they were very jealous. I sang some of the songs with them and they were impressed. I told them that this is what you get when you have 4 sisters and all they do is talk about Wicked. Jenna and I talked about how much she loves her family and me too and I told her that when I was a teenager I was away from my family and how much I missed them and she started to cry a little and said that she hopes that she has a family like that someday.

Sunday we had a lesson with Tim at his house and he is soooo freakin' cool. He wants to go to the temple sooo bad. We watched a movie called "Between Heaven and Earth" and every time he saw the temple he said I have to go now, I have to. I was like WOW this guy is amazing, he hasn't even been a member for a month and he has already grasp the importance of temple work. He is starting his genealogy so he can baptize his ancestors, like he is all on it. He is amazing, he is just WOW, I wish you could meet him.

Elder Jensen is doing a lot better. I told him a quote I heard from Tim Salmon at the baseball camp I went to a long time ago, The Mark Cressy Camp, "You don't have to be the best to be the best". He liked it a lot and he is doing a lot better.

I hope that everyone is being obedient at home, keeping the Sabbath Day holy and everything. FHE that is so important, more important than anything else on Monday night, it is so vital, it must happen MUST. Okay King Benjamin will stop but I love you guys very much thank you for everything.

Elder Skeen

I want everyone to read Alma 32 and to liken it unto themselves. Take your faith or your seed and make sure you are watering it with the gospel (scriptures, daily prayer (over meals also EVERY even out at dinner places, be an example) President Hinckley said it best, "Our muscles, if you exercise them they will grow but if not they will shrink. It is the same with our testimonies and our faith, there is no idle station on the road of faith, it's up or down. I hope we all, including myself, are always going up...

Douglas M. Skeen (remember the M)

ADDIE'S ARRIVAL

2007-07-29T19:56:00.000-07:00

For the past several weeks we have been sleeping with our cell phones nearby on the chance that we might get the "Mom, I'm in labor" phone call. When they decided to induce Megan on July 20, I took a chance and scheduled my airline reservation using the Southwest Rapid Rewards Reward that I have been hording for just this occasion and then I frantically threw myself into preparing to be gone for a week. On July 18, I was shopping at Costco, the logical place to prepare for anything, when I got a call from Megan, about 3:30, informing me that she was leaving her Doctor's office with orders to go directly to the hospital to prepare for delivery and could I somehow get to Salt Lake that evening. As with all compulsive list makers, I was still crossing off the items on the July 18 list in preparation for the birth of the July 19 list, while making preparations for Tracy, Jeff, Taylor and Austin to arrive July 19 to attend Tracy's 10 year high school reunion, Kelly, Caden, and Carter arriving for the weekend and Morgan working and packing to leave for college. My heart sank a little as I realized that Doug would have to navigate all of this without me here. Tim did a masterful job of changing my airline reservation and reserving me a car, all I had to do was get home from Costco, pack and get to the airport by 6:00. With Kelly's help I made it.

As I climbed on the airplane and sat down, amazed that I actually made it, I phoned Megan and Ryan notifying them that I was on my way. By the time I reached the car rental agency in Salt Lake, it was midnight and I was more than a little anxious to get to the hospital. Fortunately for me, not so fortunate for Megan, she was still in the beginning stages of labor. It wasn't until 26 hours later that our little Addison Linda Spiers made her entrance. Her sweet disposition became immediately apparent as she snuggled, wrapped in a blanket in Megan's arms. I had commented to Ryan earlier that I thought it would only take minutes for her to wrap him around her finger and I was wrong, it took seconds, as is evidenced in the picture of her holding his finger seconds after delivery.

I have now returned home after spending a little more than a week with this new little family. As mother's we are given the wondrous and terrifying responsibility to raise, teach, train and love these little spirits that have been entrusted to us by our Father in Heaven. When you then see your children become parents you realize that you have come full circle and you hope that you did your job well. A quote that I like goes like this, "A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary." Megan and Ryan have begun their journey of parenthood and Addie is really in good hands.

"A mother laughs our laughs,
Sheds our tears,
Returns our love,
Fears our fears,
She lives our joys,
Cares our cares,
and all our hopes and dreams she shares.

Julia Summers

YOU CAN TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS

2007-07-27T18:22:00.000-07:00

The Skeen's have entered the age of the Blog! After harassment from my Blogging children, I decided that Doug and I would try our hand, liver spots and all, at blogging. I can remember, that alone might come as a shock, when we first started using a computer. There was no such thing as the internet, Al Gore hadn't invented it yet, and for that matter there wasn't a fax. Communication was limited to our brave men and women in grey or Alexander's phone. When you think how much has happened to catapult our communication forward starting with the internet and fax, cellphones, The Blackberry and now the iPhone, it makes my grey rooted head spin. I have managed to conquer to varying degrees the above mentioned devices with the exception of the iPhone, which I have managed to avoid. The computer still offers me some challenges now a then, however, I have become Queen of the Email. It has become my preferred method of communication to the dismay or joy of my family and friends.

As with all new techie things, I have discovered that there is a new vocabulary to be learned. Here are a few of the terms that I have discovered:

Blaudience - The readership of a blog
Blawg - A blog focusing on a commentary about the law
Blog Carnival - A blog with links to other articles
Bloggernacle - A blog written by and for Mormons
Bloggies - a blog award
Bloglet - a small blog with one or two sentences
Momosphere - A blog written by mothers
Plog - A political bog
Gulog - A blog so depressing it's as if it were written in a Soviet labour camp
Blogoneer - A person who blogs with an expert or pioneering attitude.

Well so I guess I can now call myself a blogger. I don't know if I will ever become a blogoneer with a bloggie on the mantle and I hope never to write a gulog but I can tell you for sure that I plan to have a blogtastic time.

ADDIE'S ARRIVAL

2007-07-25T23:41:00.000-07:00