Today was "Attitude Adjustment Day". Every week I arrive with food in hand, in my effort to provide sustenance to my ailing pals. Some of them have no appetite at all and look like skeletons covered with skin while others seem to enjoy having something to snack on. I feel like there is so little that I can do and this seems to be something that most everyone can enjoy to some degree.
As I arrived I popped my head in the Chemo room and my new friend that I wrote about recently who is terminal, was already there and I noticed that there was a chair next to her that was vacant so I quickly staked my claim. As I approached the chair I noticed that her nose was bandaged and she had cuts and bruises on her face. I asked her how she was doing and she said fine and then I asked her about her about the condition of her face. She explained that her friend had picked her up and they were just driving away, and she didn't have her seat belt on yet, when someone rear-ended them. Being unrestrained her face hit the dashboard and as a result she sustained a broken nose and all those cuts and scraps and bruises. This lady needs some serious TLC and I am going to give it my best shot. We had a nice visit today and I feel like I am making some headway.
Before they start the Chemo they have to administer several other drugs that help you to tolerate the chemo. One of the things that they give me a hefty dose of Benadryl. I swear it takes less than a minute for that to kick in. It just washes over my body and I get so sleepy and suddenly it is lights out. Now, one of the side effects, there are many and some are more endearing than others, is this sinus condition that I have had since December. I have difficulty breathing and therefore snoring is a serious problem. When I am at home snuggled in my bed and it is only Doug, who knows all my good qualities and manages to overlook the bad ones, that I am annoying it isn't so bad, well for me. However, snoring in public while probably drooling down my chin is something else again. I have now made Arla, my nurse, promise with an oath written in blood, hers not mine, because she can spare the white cells right now, that she will never let me embarrass myself while I am there. I in turn promised that if she woke me up I would try not to eject myself out of my recliner, but if by some chance I do eject that I would try to stick the landing and make her proud.
The comfy recliner that I was lucky enough to stake out today just happened to be in the corner of the room with plenty of room to recline and even a hanging plant over my head for decoration. Really the service is very good. After all I bring the snack which Arla serves me and she hooks me up to liquid refreshment, I usually end up taking a nap and they provide the pillow and homemade quilt. Note to self: Check to see if they have a point system like the Marriott? I mean seriously, I think next time I will leave a tip.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
MY ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
Wednesday is the day that I go for Chemotherapy Treatments and I have referred to it as, "Chemo Day." I have, however, decided to rename this day to"Attitude Adjustment Day" and this is the reason why. It seems like every time I go I am fortunate enough to meet someone absolutely and completely amazing. I did a posting about my experience last week and this week was another "grab you by the heart leaving you speechless fighting back the tears" experience. The woman I met was, as near as I could tell, about my age. I introduced myself and was immediately impressed by her big smile and pleasant demeanor. I asked her about her circumstances and how treatment was going for her and found out that we were following the very same regimen only she was ahead of me by a few weeks. I asked her how the dreaded 8 weeks of AC (Adriamyacin and Cytoxin) had gone for her and she took a deep breath and winced at the thought of it. I told her that I really understood her pain and how glad I was to be done with that part of the treatment. Then came the "adjustment." She told me how she had been diagnosed in October and started the dreaded AC and it was right after treatment # 2 that her husband had surgery for a routine hernia repair. As a result of his surgery he suffered a bowel obstruction which then resulted in severe infection and he suddenly died in November. I sat there almost not believing what I was hearing and then without even thinking reached out to hug this courageous lady. I asked her how she was dealing with all of this and she said that it had been a very very difficult 5 months but that she was figuring it out. My experience hadn't even scratched the surface of her pain. Gratitude for all that I have been blessed with completely filled my soul and I vowed once again to try to lift, support and ease the pain.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
THE GOODNESS OF PEOPLE IS ASTOUNDING
From the very first day that I was diagnosed with cancer I have had been the recipient of so much love and support that it is difficult to describe how I feel. I understand how a heart can "overflow with gratitude" because mine has been overflowing for months. I appreciate the love of family and friends and feel completely unworthy and humbled to my very core. You have taught me so much, thank you.
I have had a "secret pixie" who started dropping off notes of encouragement and little gifts early in December never missing one day. I wanted to share a letter that this person left for me on my last day of intense chemo, along with some beautiful roses.
"Dear Linda,
In early December before your chemotherapy began, I heard you say that you had decided that anyone can do just about anything for eight weeks. In trying to decide what I could do to lend support over those first difficult eight weeks, the idea of the daily positive thought formulated in my mind. I promptly purchased 60 pink envelopes and began gathering what I hoped would be uplifting and inspirational words to help you through the first 56 days of treatment. I can't believe those days are now behind you! I'm so happy for you!
I want you to know how much my entire family has loved participating in this small daily service. I'm sure you have seen at least one of us dashing away from your doorstep. Your sweet thank you cards and kind gifts helped my children understand that service is rewarding in more ways than one! Thank you for your thoughtfulness. We hope that even if you know who we are that we can forever remain your "secret note pixies".
I know that you have made it over this major hurdle but that there will still be difficult days ahead. So we would like to continue sending words of encouragement you way, but perhaps weekly will suffice so that it won't grow old.
Please know that your courage and dignity have truly been more inspirational than any profound quote I could ever share. Your example of faith will not only bless the lives of your children and grandchildren, but all of us who know and love you. When challenges come into my life, as I know they will, I will lean on your example of strength.
With gratitude and love,
Your Secret Note Pixie
What a great lesson in service this inspired Mom has taught me.
I have had a "secret pixie" who started dropping off notes of encouragement and little gifts early in December never missing one day. I wanted to share a letter that this person left for me on my last day of intense chemo, along with some beautiful roses.
"Dear Linda,
In early December before your chemotherapy began, I heard you say that you had decided that anyone can do just about anything for eight weeks. In trying to decide what I could do to lend support over those first difficult eight weeks, the idea of the daily positive thought formulated in my mind. I promptly purchased 60 pink envelopes and began gathering what I hoped would be uplifting and inspirational words to help you through the first 56 days of treatment. I can't believe those days are now behind you! I'm so happy for you!
I want you to know how much my entire family has loved participating in this small daily service. I'm sure you have seen at least one of us dashing away from your doorstep. Your sweet thank you cards and kind gifts helped my children understand that service is rewarding in more ways than one! Thank you for your thoughtfulness. We hope that even if you know who we are that we can forever remain your "secret note pixies".
I know that you have made it over this major hurdle but that there will still be difficult days ahead. So we would like to continue sending words of encouragement you way, but perhaps weekly will suffice so that it won't grow old.
Please know that your courage and dignity have truly been more inspirational than any profound quote I could ever share. Your example of faith will not only bless the lives of your children and grandchildren, but all of us who know and love you. When challenges come into my life, as I know they will, I will lean on your example of strength.
With gratitude and love,
Your Secret Note Pixie
What a great lesson in service this inspired Mom has taught me.
I'M FINALLY BACK.....
It has been a long time since I did any blogging and I really should be asked to turn in my blogging badge.
I have finished with the toughest part of my Chemo Treatment and I am so happy to be saying Adios to that. I just had my second of twelve chemo treatments today which is a much easier treatment. I have many of the standard side effects but none of the difficult ones from the first round of treatments and this is going to be a piece of cake. The lady who administers my treatments told me that not everyone reacts so favorably and so once again my heart is very full of gratitude. Today while at Chemo, which is done in a room filled with maybe 20 Recliners lined up against the walls with everyone is in close proximity, I happened to sit next to a lady who was maybe my age or a little younger who shared some of her story with me. She had gone to the doctor for a physical for insurance and they discovered that she had a brain turmor which had also mestasized to her lungs. She said that the doctor's have told her that she is terminal and that she will probably do Chemo for the rest of her life, however long that is. Let me tell you if that doesn't throw life into perspective then nothing will. I wish I could take back any tears of discouragement I have cried. After I finished treatment I made it to the solitude of my car and I started weeping for this lady. I vowed today that I would make her a priority every time I go for treatment. Last week there was a lady who was completing her final treatment that day and I congratulated her and wished her well and there were hugs all around but somehow it seemed anticlimactic. Shouldn't there be party hats and people wearing funny noses to celebrate? Today I got my answer - not everyone will be so fortunate. For now there will have to be well wishes, hugs and congratulations and a few tears all around.
I have finished with the toughest part of my Chemo Treatment and I am so happy to be saying Adios to that. I just had my second of twelve chemo treatments today which is a much easier treatment. I have many of the standard side effects but none of the difficult ones from the first round of treatments and this is going to be a piece of cake. The lady who administers my treatments told me that not everyone reacts so favorably and so once again my heart is very full of gratitude. Today while at Chemo, which is done in a room filled with maybe 20 Recliners lined up against the walls with everyone is in close proximity, I happened to sit next to a lady who was maybe my age or a little younger who shared some of her story with me. She had gone to the doctor for a physical for insurance and they discovered that she had a brain turmor which had also mestasized to her lungs. She said that the doctor's have told her that she is terminal and that she will probably do Chemo for the rest of her life, however long that is. Let me tell you if that doesn't throw life into perspective then nothing will. I wish I could take back any tears of discouragement I have cried. After I finished treatment I made it to the solitude of my car and I started weeping for this lady. I vowed today that I would make her a priority every time I go for treatment. Last week there was a lady who was completing her final treatment that day and I congratulated her and wished her well and there were hugs all around but somehow it seemed anticlimactic. Shouldn't there be party hats and people wearing funny noses to celebrate? Today I got my answer - not everyone will be so fortunate. For now there will have to be well wishes, hugs and congratulations and a few tears all around.
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