In the breast cancer community besides all the obvious words that nobody wants to hear, there is another word, Lymphadema. This is a condition that can occur as a result of removing Lymph nodes from under the arm because the cancer has moved from the breast to the lymph nodes or they suspect that this is the case. Lymphadema occurs because the Lymphatic System is compromised and can no longer move the fluids around the body correctly, resulting is swelling in the arm and hand and can become quite severe resulting in infections and other problems. Unfortunately there is no cure for this condition and so prevention and immediate intervention is important. Today I had to meet with a therapist to educate and train me on dealing with this problem. She took one look at my arm and said, "It looks to me like you have some "L" word. I told her that I wasn't feeling any symptoms and my arms are chronically fat because they match my hips and thighs." Well, we spent a couple of hours together and I must admit that I learned a lot some of which could prove to be very helpful. Apparently, repetitive motion is not a friend of "L" word. Some of the activities that she listed were vacuuming, ironing, scrubbing, washing windows, anything where you repeat the motion. (Darn!) Of course you could use your other hand, simple solution. Way too simple, therefore it must be flawed!! Besides this is my right arm we are talking about and I am right handed. No more heavy lifting with that arm, so I can quit training for Mrs. Universe - That's a relief!! I had to downsize my purse. No more backpacks and heavy purses. This required the purchase of a really cute purse. (Medically necessary!)
The Lady that I met with this morning sent me over to Stella, the lady who was going to fit me for this lovely compression sleeve and glove. Stella took one look at me and said, "Looks to me like you have some "L" word." What? She left the room to get some sleeves for me to try and I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Oh, how I was hoping to avoid this problem. I wanted that first lady to be wrong. By the time Stella returned with the sleeves I had regained my composure. Now this sleeve goes from my wrist to my arm pit and it has a very fashionable fingerless glove that comes with it. Of course, it is flesh colored so I doubt anyone will ever even notice it. (Even I'm not that delusional.) I feel a little like a rock star, "Yo Yo down in the hood!" One final kicker to this amusing day. I have quite large varicose veins on my legs so they thought I should also get thigh high compression socks. Oh will the fun ever end!!?
I have divulged my secrets and you have seen me at my worst! I felt a little like crying today but tell me, what good would that do besides I am now focused on the fashion industry. You can't tell me that with some of the fashion out there that I couldn't have a chance to make my compression socks (they really suck the fat in) and my compression sleeve (it looks like you belong in the hood) popular!!?? Kelly, Tracy, Megan and Morgan you are fashionistas, can you get on this?
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
I'M GOING TO BRAG FOR A MOMENT.....
Okay, so this might be a string of moments but I figure that I'm a mother and that is what mothers do.
Morgan has been attending The University of Utah this past year as a freshman on a soccer scholarship. Freshman year is traditionally known to be a challenging year because of all the adjustments that must be made but I really must say that her freshman year while having all the standard challenges was fraught with many additional difficulties.
The soccer season started off quite well and she was starting and playing every game. We were fortunate enough to fly up to Utah for several games and also attend some of her away games. In October while playing in a game against Utah Valley University she tore her ACL, partially tore her LCL and Meniscus ending her freshman season, requiring surgery and necessitating a 6 month rehab.
It was in the very same week that she was injured that I made the painfully difficult phone call to tell her that I had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. This was very troubling news and she seemed much more worried about me than the pending knee issues. Oh, the lengths we mothers will go to to help our children. (Just kidding) We both ended up having surgery the same week so neither Doug nor I were able to be with her to help her get through that first very painful week. Thank heavens for Megan and Ryan who came to the rescue. They brought her home to their tiny apartment and even gave up their bed. Boyfriend Ryan was Johnny on the Spot trying to meet all her needs. I found solace in knowing that she was in such good hands. She has wanted so much to be here with me and that has been difficult but I get my multiple phone calls every day.
The University of Utah has turned out to be a little more of a commuter school than she had hoped and at times this has been quite challenging to deal with. Fortunately, Ryan her boyfriend and best friend, who she had also dated in high school, was also attending U of U for the Fall Semester but he was leaving to go on a mission at the end of January so it was about to get more challenging. The first two weeks we had tearful phone calls every night and we had to call her in off the ledge. She spent a lot of time with Megan, Ryan and Addie which helped a lot along with numerous phone calls to all of her other siblings. It would be much harder to raise your kids without the help from brothers, sisters and brother-in-laws. We are passed the "jump lady jump" stage and she has settled into a routine of writing, reading and dating.
Here is the bragging part - in spite of all these issues she managed to make the Presidents Honor Roll, be inducted into the National Honor Society and the NCAA Student Athlete Award. Tim said, "There must be a mistake and he has started an investigation". (He is just kidding.)
Typically an injury like the one that she sustained would take up to a year for recovery to be cleared to play again. She was just tested and her knee functions rated into the high 90% range and so she has been cleared to play and it has only been ( I say "only", she feels like it has been an eternity) 6 months. This required considerable effort and focus on her part. She has done physical therapy and strength training nearly every day for 6 months and it obviously paid off.
I had a long conversation with her tonight and she was explaining to me how difficult this year has been and that there were many times when she really wasn't sure that she could do what needed to be done. She told me how up until this year her life had been sailing along quite smoothly. She hadn't really had many trials to overcome. This year, while she will be glad to see it come to a close she is very grateful for all the things that she has learned.
As her Mom I am impressed by all that she has accomplished but I am most proud of the growth that I have seen in all aspects of her life. Growth through trials is ground hard fought for and you have to leave some on the battlefield. You have to dig deep into your soul and find the courage and strength you need to do things that you don't think you can do. You have to put to the test your faith that The Lord knows and loves you and understands and cries every single tear with you. In our conversation tonight it was clear to me that she has walked this path and the things that she has learned and are still learning have changed her life forever.
I love you, Morgan and I am very proud of you.
Morgan has been attending The University of Utah this past year as a freshman on a soccer scholarship. Freshman year is traditionally known to be a challenging year because of all the adjustments that must be made but I really must say that her freshman year while having all the standard challenges was fraught with many additional difficulties.
The soccer season started off quite well and she was starting and playing every game. We were fortunate enough to fly up to Utah for several games and also attend some of her away games. In October while playing in a game against Utah Valley University she tore her ACL, partially tore her LCL and Meniscus ending her freshman season, requiring surgery and necessitating a 6 month rehab.
It was in the very same week that she was injured that I made the painfully difficult phone call to tell her that I had been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. This was very troubling news and she seemed much more worried about me than the pending knee issues. Oh, the lengths we mothers will go to to help our children. (Just kidding) We both ended up having surgery the same week so neither Doug nor I were able to be with her to help her get through that first very painful week. Thank heavens for Megan and Ryan who came to the rescue. They brought her home to their tiny apartment and even gave up their bed. Boyfriend Ryan was Johnny on the Spot trying to meet all her needs. I found solace in knowing that she was in such good hands. She has wanted so much to be here with me and that has been difficult but I get my multiple phone calls every day.
The University of Utah has turned out to be a little more of a commuter school than she had hoped and at times this has been quite challenging to deal with. Fortunately, Ryan her boyfriend and best friend, who she had also dated in high school, was also attending U of U for the Fall Semester but he was leaving to go on a mission at the end of January so it was about to get more challenging. The first two weeks we had tearful phone calls every night and we had to call her in off the ledge. She spent a lot of time with Megan, Ryan and Addie which helped a lot along with numerous phone calls to all of her other siblings. It would be much harder to raise your kids without the help from brothers, sisters and brother-in-laws. We are passed the "jump lady jump" stage and she has settled into a routine of writing, reading and dating.
Here is the bragging part - in spite of all these issues she managed to make the Presidents Honor Roll, be inducted into the National Honor Society and the NCAA Student Athlete Award. Tim said, "There must be a mistake and he has started an investigation". (He is just kidding.)
Typically an injury like the one that she sustained would take up to a year for recovery to be cleared to play again. She was just tested and her knee functions rated into the high 90% range and so she has been cleared to play and it has only been ( I say "only", she feels like it has been an eternity) 6 months. This required considerable effort and focus on her part. She has done physical therapy and strength training nearly every day for 6 months and it obviously paid off.
I had a long conversation with her tonight and she was explaining to me how difficult this year has been and that there were many times when she really wasn't sure that she could do what needed to be done. She told me how up until this year her life had been sailing along quite smoothly. She hadn't really had many trials to overcome. This year, while she will be glad to see it come to a close she is very grateful for all the things that she has learned.
As her Mom I am impressed by all that she has accomplished but I am most proud of the growth that I have seen in all aspects of her life. Growth through trials is ground hard fought for and you have to leave some on the battlefield. You have to dig deep into your soul and find the courage and strength you need to do things that you don't think you can do. You have to put to the test your faith that The Lord knows and loves you and understands and cries every single tear with you. In our conversation tonight it was clear to me that she has walked this path and the things that she has learned and are still learning have changed her life forever.
I love you, Morgan and I am very proud of you.
GRANDKIDS ARE OUR BLESSING FOR GETTING OLDER
Caden, Taylor and now Carter have all learned how to call me on their Mom's cell phones. This came as quite a shock to their Mom's when I told them how much I appreciated the cute phone calls that I was receiving. Tracy asked Taylor, "Do you know how to call Grandma?" " Sure that is easy, " was the reply. You just have to push the one that says "M-o-m". Well, the cat's out of the bag, but I d my secret phone calls. Caden and Taylor call me almost every Wednesday to see how Attitude Adjustment (aka Chemo) went that day and today was no exception. Taylor was delighted to learn that everything went well and I was feeling great! She wanted to know if I could be around people again and I told her that I could but that I still had to be careful. She then said, " You have to be careful because you don't want to get them sick?" "Well not exactly," I said. "I have to be careful because I don't want them to make me sick". "Oh," she said. The next thing she wanted to know was if I was eating blueberries everyday because they are very good for me and they will make me healthy. I told her that she was absolutely right and that I was trying to eat plenty of fruit, including blueberries, and lots of vegetables. She seemed to be relieved to here this and then when I told her that I was also trying to walk everyday she was more than a little proud. Tracy, you have obviously done a good job teaching the importance of nutrition and exercise. Caden and Carter have been in Orlando, Florida for the week having a wonderful time so I didn't get my usual phone call from them, I am assuming that the cell phones are more closely guarded or maybe I just can't compete with Disney World and Epcot. I choose to believe that the cell phones are unavailable. (Delusion a side effect of Chemo!)
Thursday, March 20, 2008
WOW !!!
This is a copy, mistakes and all, of the email that we got from McKay this week. It is the follow-up email to the one he wrote to tell us that Randy Pesce had died. It is difficult for me to find the words to tell you just how proud I am proud of this kid, man. He has served his mission with his whole heart and soul, putting everything he had into it, holding nothing back.
"hey family,.This was the most growth i have ever had in my life over such a short period of time. in my e-mail i showed signs of doubt and fear but now i have none i have a unshakable knowledge of the plan of salvation mainly the ressurection and the life after we leave this mortal by. i KNOW that after we leave this place that we go to a place best phrased by alma as a state of happiness of rest of peace, to have no sorrow or care. That we wil stay there there both righteuous and wicked until the time goes for us to be ressurected to our mortal body. i know that this is true. I Know GOD HEARS and ANSWERS prayers of his children here on earth I KNOW. I KNOW that through the direction of the father that all the earths and all creature were made by him and through him and that nothing was made that wasn't made by him. I KNOW that christ died for all man kind saint or sinner, woman or man. I KNOW that he did indeed was hung on the cross of calvary that he told the father forgive them for they know not what they do then he gave up the ghost for they could not kill him, I KNOW that 3 days later that he did indeed rise form the that the first ressurrection did happen that becasue of that unmatchless act that we may all live tho we will died we will live again. I KNOW that we will be restored to our perfect frame. That all who have lived and died without the knowledge of the gospel will have that opportunity to hear the glorious message of the restoration and of baptism and repretance and receiving the holy ghost. and I KNOW that the rightous forces that have been called to preach this gospel from the spirit world , have a special power and authority just as we do here and that the same work is happening there and that grampa and grama and randy and gordan jump and jay plewe, and grampa baldwin are those chosen ones along with many others. I KNOW that the temple ordiances are sacred and that we can INherit all the father has if we live by these concvants we have made. That some day we will have our own eternal families. I KNOW that there is prohet on the earth today his name is THOMAS S. MONSON that he is the high priest on the earth he holds the keys to preside over this earth. And I KNOW that the preisthood of god, The sealing power that peter talks about are again on the earth I KNOW that the boy Josphe saw GOD the FATHER and JESUS the rise lord in the grove of trees that he has restore his gospel to the earth never to be be taken away again. that families can be together forever, literally bound together, depneding on our works and our intents of our heart here on earth. AND I KNOW that we are placed in certain places and experinces to grow and to learn and to have our own spirit remmber what we have learned in the pre motral life. that we will receive that knowldge one very small piece at a time, according to our faith in GOD the ETERNAL FATHER. and that we are placed in our families for a prupose , hand picked to be in these families, that we are sent to far off places to meet certain people, to share the gospel with a specific somone, to comfort a grieving brother or sister. when they are in doubt or fear, i KNOW that the people we are close with that we had a personal relationship before this life and that is why it is so hard to say goodbye when one leaves but the thing we need to remmber is that it is never goodbye it is see you later. goodbye was done away with when jesus christ the rise lord came forth that easter morining. And final I KNOW that GOD LIVES, that he loves us we are his children we loves us. HE KNOWS all and that he is the master planner. that he will give us what we are in need of at the very time we need it. that we will never get anything more than we can handle . I KNOW. I KNOW that you can KNOW also if you read stude and pray with a fervent heart with the most sincerity that you have, that you will to KNOW. i love you all so mcuh you are an inspiration to me. thank you for you prayers.
I love you all.
elder SKEEN
"hey family,.This was the most growth i have ever had in my life over such a short period of time. in my e-mail i showed signs of doubt and fear but now i have none i have a unshakable knowledge of the plan of salvation mainly the ressurection and the life after we leave this mortal by. i KNOW that after we leave this place that we go to a place best phrased by alma as a state of happiness of rest of peace, to have no sorrow or care. That we wil stay there there both righteuous and wicked until the time goes for us to be ressurected to our mortal body. i know that this is true. I Know GOD HEARS and ANSWERS prayers of his children here on earth I KNOW. I KNOW that through the direction of the father that all the earths and all creature were made by him and through him and that nothing was made that wasn't made by him. I KNOW that christ died for all man kind saint or sinner, woman or man. I KNOW that he did indeed was hung on the cross of calvary that he told the father forgive them for they know not what they do then he gave up the ghost for they could not kill him, I KNOW that 3 days later that he did indeed rise form the that the first ressurrection did happen that becasue of that unmatchless act that we may all live tho we will died we will live again. I KNOW that we will be restored to our perfect frame. That all who have lived and died without the knowledge of the gospel will have that opportunity to hear the glorious message of the restoration and of baptism and repretance and receiving the holy ghost. and I KNOW that the rightous forces that have been called to preach this gospel from the spirit world , have a special power and authority just as we do here and that the same work is happening there and that grampa and grama and randy and gordan jump and jay plewe, and grampa baldwin are those chosen ones along with many others. I KNOW that the temple ordiances are sacred and that we can INherit all the father has if we live by these concvants we have made. That some day we will have our own eternal families. I KNOW that there is prohet on the earth today his name is THOMAS S. MONSON that he is the high priest on the earth he holds the keys to preside over this earth. And I KNOW that the preisthood of god, The sealing power that peter talks about are again on the earth I KNOW that the boy Josphe saw GOD the FATHER and JESUS the rise lord in the grove of trees that he has restore his gospel to the earth never to be be taken away again. that families can be together forever, literally bound together, depneding on our works and our intents of our heart here on earth. AND I KNOW that we are placed in certain places and experinces to grow and to learn and to have our own spirit remmber what we have learned in the pre motral life. that we will receive that knowldge one very small piece at a time, according to our faith in GOD the ETERNAL FATHER. and that we are placed in our families for a prupose , hand picked to be in these families, that we are sent to far off places to meet certain people, to share the gospel with a specific somone, to comfort a grieving brother or sister. when they are in doubt or fear, i KNOW that the people we are close with that we had a personal relationship before this life and that is why it is so hard to say goodbye when one leaves but the thing we need to remmber is that it is never goodbye it is see you later. goodbye was done away with when jesus christ the rise lord came forth that easter morining. And final I KNOW that GOD LIVES, that he loves us we are his children we loves us. HE KNOWS all and that he is the master planner. that he will give us what we are in need of at the very time we need it. that we will never get anything more than we can handle . I KNOW. I KNOW that you can KNOW also if you read stude and pray with a fervent heart with the most sincerity that you have, that you will to KNOW. i love you all so mcuh you are an inspiration to me. thank you for you prayers.
I love you all.
elder SKEEN
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
WHISKERS ARE BACK !!
No, this isn't the name of my favorite cat. Ordinarily this would be one of those "I can tell you but then I will have to kill you" kind of circumstances but these are not ordinary times. This morning when I was getting ready for "AA", no I haven't started drinking, this stands for Attitude Adjustment. I was penciling on my eyebrows, that is another blog. Hide all the sharpy markers!! I looked down at my chin and I thought I saw some little whiskers growing. Of course I grabbed the "lighted high powered magnifying mirror" and sure enough there they were just as big as life (not without the magnifying mirror). My heart started leaping for joy, which is incidentally about the only kind of leaping I am doing these days. This you might think is a strange reaction. It does conjure up images of the "Bearded Lady in the Circus," maybe something to think about when Doug retires if they have benefits. I moved the mirror up to the top of my head, after all if there was hair growing on my chin maybe also on my head. To my joy I think those little stubbies just might be growing!! I have decided to include some pictures with this blog. There are two of the room where I do Chemo, including one of the chair in the corner with the plant for decoration that I previously blogged about. Three that document my G.I Jane Coiffeur, the little hair soldiers who managed to hang on in spite of overwhelming odds, and if you look very, very, carefully at the horizon you can see some possible growth. The three of me are not for the faint of heart. Close your eyes, have a friend read the blog and share it with you, take anti nausea medication or just "let your hair down" (chemo joke) and simply go for it!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
THE PASSING OF A WONDERFUL FRIEND....
Today we received our Tuesday missionary email as usual, but this letter wasn't so usual. I have written in the past about a wonderful lady, Randy Pesce, who lived in Columbus, Indiana. She has been battling cancer for several years and Saturday she lost that battle. She was in her mid 50's, with a married son, a daughter about 20 named Jenna, and two younger children Dallin 11 and Olivia 12. As parents we pray for those special people and experiences that can touch the lives of our children for good leaving them forever changed and this lady was one of those people for McKay. We were fortunate enough to meet her when she came to California for her son's wedding. They came to church with us and then we spent the rest of the day visiting. What a wonderful family, Randy and I felt an immediate connection and it was clear to me why McKay loved this family so much. The news of her passing was very upsetting to me today and I will miss her email's and our phone conversations. However, like McKay I am glad that she is no longer suffering. I would like to share his letter with you. While you can clearly see that this is a very difficult time for him, I'm sure that she would be jumping for joy to read this letter.
"Hey guys on Saturday Randy passed away. President Corey let me and Elder Winburn drive down to Columbus for the funeral. I was happy that he let us do that because it is pretty far. I was fine all the way down there but as soon as I saw all the family I started to cry. I never remember crying that much in one day except for when Grandma passed away. The service was very good. Though I am struggling big time right now, I know that she is in a better place. All my prayers have been answered. I wanted her to be at peace, I wanted her not to be in pain anymore, I wanted the best for her and I wanted Heavenly Father's will. I feel like a huge piece of me is gone and I cried the whole way home.
.....It feel like I had 2 Moms and now one is gone but it is just for a short while. I am trying to be positive like Randy. I have rededicated myself to be the best priesthood holder for my wife and my kids, she always used to tell me that, "Be the best priesthood holder you can be," and there were so many more things. I am so grateful for my decision to serve a mission. I have been able to baptize people into The Lord's church and I had the opportunity to meet the best lady in the world. I'm sure that she would be mad at me for crying.
....I was able to be Randy's mom's escort at the burial grounds and I gave Olivia my jacket because she was cold - it was a very good day. I really wish that I could have said good bye to her but I know she would have said, "It will all be okay, it will all be okay." Please pray for me to have the strength to focus on what I need to do right now. This is what I need and want to do. Randy would want me to work my head off for the next 4 months and finish my mission strong so I will honor her by doing this now and for the rest of my life. Jenna said, "just because this happened to my Mom doesn't mean it will happen to yours, have faith!! She is such an awesome and her testimony of the gospel is very very strong. I want to have a wife with a testimony like that.
....Mom, everyone kept asking about you. That was very touching to me. Jenna said that they always include you in their prayers. That family is so awesome.
Mom, call Jenna tonight if you can and tell her how much we care about them and that if they need anything, we are the people. I'm sorry I didn't even get to read emails today, maybe you could mail them. I need to close but I want you to know that I am so grateful for The Plan of Salvation. I can't even imagine how I would feel right now if we didn't have it. I am so grateful for eternal families - remember that okay! I love you all so much. Please pray for Jenna and the kids and their whole family. I love you all !!!
Elder Skeen
"Hey guys on Saturday Randy passed away. President Corey let me and Elder Winburn drive down to Columbus for the funeral. I was happy that he let us do that because it is pretty far. I was fine all the way down there but as soon as I saw all the family I started to cry. I never remember crying that much in one day except for when Grandma passed away. The service was very good. Though I am struggling big time right now, I know that she is in a better place. All my prayers have been answered. I wanted her to be at peace, I wanted her not to be in pain anymore, I wanted the best for her and I wanted Heavenly Father's will. I feel like a huge piece of me is gone and I cried the whole way home.
.....It feel like I had 2 Moms and now one is gone but it is just for a short while. I am trying to be positive like Randy. I have rededicated myself to be the best priesthood holder for my wife and my kids, she always used to tell me that, "Be the best priesthood holder you can be," and there were so many more things. I am so grateful for my decision to serve a mission. I have been able to baptize people into The Lord's church and I had the opportunity to meet the best lady in the world. I'm sure that she would be mad at me for crying.
....I was able to be Randy's mom's escort at the burial grounds and I gave Olivia my jacket because she was cold - it was a very good day. I really wish that I could have said good bye to her but I know she would have said, "It will all be okay, it will all be okay." Please pray for me to have the strength to focus on what I need to do right now. This is what I need and want to do. Randy would want me to work my head off for the next 4 months and finish my mission strong so I will honor her by doing this now and for the rest of my life. Jenna said, "just because this happened to my Mom doesn't mean it will happen to yours, have faith!! She is such an awesome and her testimony of the gospel is very very strong. I want to have a wife with a testimony like that.
....Mom, everyone kept asking about you. That was very touching to me. Jenna said that they always include you in their prayers. That family is so awesome.
Mom, call Jenna tonight if you can and tell her how much we care about them and that if they need anything, we are the people. I'm sorry I didn't even get to read emails today, maybe you could mail them. I need to close but I want you to know that I am so grateful for The Plan of Salvation. I can't even imagine how I would feel right now if we didn't have it. I am so grateful for eternal families - remember that okay! I love you all so much. Please pray for Jenna and the kids and their whole family. I love you all !!!
Elder Skeen
Thursday, February 28, 2008
IT'S ALL IN THE LANDING
Today was "Attitude Adjustment Day". Every week I arrive with food in hand, in my effort to provide sustenance to my ailing pals. Some of them have no appetite at all and look like skeletons covered with skin while others seem to enjoy having something to snack on. I feel like there is so little that I can do and this seems to be something that most everyone can enjoy to some degree.
As I arrived I popped my head in the Chemo room and my new friend that I wrote about recently who is terminal, was already there and I noticed that there was a chair next to her that was vacant so I quickly staked my claim. As I approached the chair I noticed that her nose was bandaged and she had cuts and bruises on her face. I asked her how she was doing and she said fine and then I asked her about her about the condition of her face. She explained that her friend had picked her up and they were just driving away, and she didn't have her seat belt on yet, when someone rear-ended them. Being unrestrained her face hit the dashboard and as a result she sustained a broken nose and all those cuts and scraps and bruises. This lady needs some serious TLC and I am going to give it my best shot. We had a nice visit today and I feel like I am making some headway.
Before they start the Chemo they have to administer several other drugs that help you to tolerate the chemo. One of the things that they give me a hefty dose of Benadryl. I swear it takes less than a minute for that to kick in. It just washes over my body and I get so sleepy and suddenly it is lights out. Now, one of the side effects, there are many and some are more endearing than others, is this sinus condition that I have had since December. I have difficulty breathing and therefore snoring is a serious problem. When I am at home snuggled in my bed and it is only Doug, who knows all my good qualities and manages to overlook the bad ones, that I am annoying it isn't so bad, well for me. However, snoring in public while probably drooling down my chin is something else again. I have now made Arla, my nurse, promise with an oath written in blood, hers not mine, because she can spare the white cells right now, that she will never let me embarrass myself while I am there. I in turn promised that if she woke me up I would try not to eject myself out of my recliner, but if by some chance I do eject that I would try to stick the landing and make her proud.
The comfy recliner that I was lucky enough to stake out today just happened to be in the corner of the room with plenty of room to recline and even a hanging plant over my head for decoration. Really the service is very good. After all I bring the snack which Arla serves me and she hooks me up to liquid refreshment, I usually end up taking a nap and they provide the pillow and homemade quilt. Note to self: Check to see if they have a point system like the Marriott? I mean seriously, I think next time I will leave a tip.
As I arrived I popped my head in the Chemo room and my new friend that I wrote about recently who is terminal, was already there and I noticed that there was a chair next to her that was vacant so I quickly staked my claim. As I approached the chair I noticed that her nose was bandaged and she had cuts and bruises on her face. I asked her how she was doing and she said fine and then I asked her about her about the condition of her face. She explained that her friend had picked her up and they were just driving away, and she didn't have her seat belt on yet, when someone rear-ended them. Being unrestrained her face hit the dashboard and as a result she sustained a broken nose and all those cuts and scraps and bruises. This lady needs some serious TLC and I am going to give it my best shot. We had a nice visit today and I feel like I am making some headway.
Before they start the Chemo they have to administer several other drugs that help you to tolerate the chemo. One of the things that they give me a hefty dose of Benadryl. I swear it takes less than a minute for that to kick in. It just washes over my body and I get so sleepy and suddenly it is lights out. Now, one of the side effects, there are many and some are more endearing than others, is this sinus condition that I have had since December. I have difficulty breathing and therefore snoring is a serious problem. When I am at home snuggled in my bed and it is only Doug, who knows all my good qualities and manages to overlook the bad ones, that I am annoying it isn't so bad, well for me. However, snoring in public while probably drooling down my chin is something else again. I have now made Arla, my nurse, promise with an oath written in blood, hers not mine, because she can spare the white cells right now, that she will never let me embarrass myself while I am there. I in turn promised that if she woke me up I would try not to eject myself out of my recliner, but if by some chance I do eject that I would try to stick the landing and make her proud.
The comfy recliner that I was lucky enough to stake out today just happened to be in the corner of the room with plenty of room to recline and even a hanging plant over my head for decoration. Really the service is very good. After all I bring the snack which Arla serves me and she hooks me up to liquid refreshment, I usually end up taking a nap and they provide the pillow and homemade quilt. Note to self: Check to see if they have a point system like the Marriott? I mean seriously, I think next time I will leave a tip.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
MY ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT
Wednesday is the day that I go for Chemotherapy Treatments and I have referred to it as, "Chemo Day." I have, however, decided to rename this day to"Attitude Adjustment Day" and this is the reason why. It seems like every time I go I am fortunate enough to meet someone absolutely and completely amazing. I did a posting about my experience last week and this week was another "grab you by the heart leaving you speechless fighting back the tears" experience. The woman I met was, as near as I could tell, about my age. I introduced myself and was immediately impressed by her big smile and pleasant demeanor. I asked her about her circumstances and how treatment was going for her and found out that we were following the very same regimen only she was ahead of me by a few weeks. I asked her how the dreaded 8 weeks of AC (Adriamyacin and Cytoxin) had gone for her and she took a deep breath and winced at the thought of it. I told her that I really understood her pain and how glad I was to be done with that part of the treatment. Then came the "adjustment." She told me how she had been diagnosed in October and started the dreaded AC and it was right after treatment # 2 that her husband had surgery for a routine hernia repair. As a result of his surgery he suffered a bowel obstruction which then resulted in severe infection and he suddenly died in November. I sat there almost not believing what I was hearing and then without even thinking reached out to hug this courageous lady. I asked her how she was dealing with all of this and she said that it had been a very very difficult 5 months but that she was figuring it out. My experience hadn't even scratched the surface of her pain. Gratitude for all that I have been blessed with completely filled my soul and I vowed once again to try to lift, support and ease the pain.
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
THE GOODNESS OF PEOPLE IS ASTOUNDING
From the very first day that I was diagnosed with cancer I have had been the recipient of so much love and support that it is difficult to describe how I feel. I understand how a heart can "overflow with gratitude" because mine has been overflowing for months. I appreciate the love of family and friends and feel completely unworthy and humbled to my very core. You have taught me so much, thank you.
I have had a "secret pixie" who started dropping off notes of encouragement and little gifts early in December never missing one day. I wanted to share a letter that this person left for me on my last day of intense chemo, along with some beautiful roses.
"Dear Linda,
In early December before your chemotherapy began, I heard you say that you had decided that anyone can do just about anything for eight weeks. In trying to decide what I could do to lend support over those first difficult eight weeks, the idea of the daily positive thought formulated in my mind. I promptly purchased 60 pink envelopes and began gathering what I hoped would be uplifting and inspirational words to help you through the first 56 days of treatment. I can't believe those days are now behind you! I'm so happy for you!
I want you to know how much my entire family has loved participating in this small daily service. I'm sure you have seen at least one of us dashing away from your doorstep. Your sweet thank you cards and kind gifts helped my children understand that service is rewarding in more ways than one! Thank you for your thoughtfulness. We hope that even if you know who we are that we can forever remain your "secret note pixies".
I know that you have made it over this major hurdle but that there will still be difficult days ahead. So we would like to continue sending words of encouragement you way, but perhaps weekly will suffice so that it won't grow old.
Please know that your courage and dignity have truly been more inspirational than any profound quote I could ever share. Your example of faith will not only bless the lives of your children and grandchildren, but all of us who know and love you. When challenges come into my life, as I know they will, I will lean on your example of strength.
With gratitude and love,
Your Secret Note Pixie
What a great lesson in service this inspired Mom has taught me.
I have had a "secret pixie" who started dropping off notes of encouragement and little gifts early in December never missing one day. I wanted to share a letter that this person left for me on my last day of intense chemo, along with some beautiful roses.
"Dear Linda,
In early December before your chemotherapy began, I heard you say that you had decided that anyone can do just about anything for eight weeks. In trying to decide what I could do to lend support over those first difficult eight weeks, the idea of the daily positive thought formulated in my mind. I promptly purchased 60 pink envelopes and began gathering what I hoped would be uplifting and inspirational words to help you through the first 56 days of treatment. I can't believe those days are now behind you! I'm so happy for you!
I want you to know how much my entire family has loved participating in this small daily service. I'm sure you have seen at least one of us dashing away from your doorstep. Your sweet thank you cards and kind gifts helped my children understand that service is rewarding in more ways than one! Thank you for your thoughtfulness. We hope that even if you know who we are that we can forever remain your "secret note pixies".
I know that you have made it over this major hurdle but that there will still be difficult days ahead. So we would like to continue sending words of encouragement you way, but perhaps weekly will suffice so that it won't grow old.
Please know that your courage and dignity have truly been more inspirational than any profound quote I could ever share. Your example of faith will not only bless the lives of your children and grandchildren, but all of us who know and love you. When challenges come into my life, as I know they will, I will lean on your example of strength.
With gratitude and love,
Your Secret Note Pixie
What a great lesson in service this inspired Mom has taught me.
I'M FINALLY BACK.....
It has been a long time since I did any blogging and I really should be asked to turn in my blogging badge.
I have finished with the toughest part of my Chemo Treatment and I am so happy to be saying Adios to that. I just had my second of twelve chemo treatments today which is a much easier treatment. I have many of the standard side effects but none of the difficult ones from the first round of treatments and this is going to be a piece of cake. The lady who administers my treatments told me that not everyone reacts so favorably and so once again my heart is very full of gratitude. Today while at Chemo, which is done in a room filled with maybe 20 Recliners lined up against the walls with everyone is in close proximity, I happened to sit next to a lady who was maybe my age or a little younger who shared some of her story with me. She had gone to the doctor for a physical for insurance and they discovered that she had a brain turmor which had also mestasized to her lungs. She said that the doctor's have told her that she is terminal and that she will probably do Chemo for the rest of her life, however long that is. Let me tell you if that doesn't throw life into perspective then nothing will. I wish I could take back any tears of discouragement I have cried. After I finished treatment I made it to the solitude of my car and I started weeping for this lady. I vowed today that I would make her a priority every time I go for treatment. Last week there was a lady who was completing her final treatment that day and I congratulated her and wished her well and there were hugs all around but somehow it seemed anticlimactic. Shouldn't there be party hats and people wearing funny noses to celebrate? Today I got my answer - not everyone will be so fortunate. For now there will have to be well wishes, hugs and congratulations and a few tears all around.
I have finished with the toughest part of my Chemo Treatment and I am so happy to be saying Adios to that. I just had my second of twelve chemo treatments today which is a much easier treatment. I have many of the standard side effects but none of the difficult ones from the first round of treatments and this is going to be a piece of cake. The lady who administers my treatments told me that not everyone reacts so favorably and so once again my heart is very full of gratitude. Today while at Chemo, which is done in a room filled with maybe 20 Recliners lined up against the walls with everyone is in close proximity, I happened to sit next to a lady who was maybe my age or a little younger who shared some of her story with me. She had gone to the doctor for a physical for insurance and they discovered that she had a brain turmor which had also mestasized to her lungs. She said that the doctor's have told her that she is terminal and that she will probably do Chemo for the rest of her life, however long that is. Let me tell you if that doesn't throw life into perspective then nothing will. I wish I could take back any tears of discouragement I have cried. After I finished treatment I made it to the solitude of my car and I started weeping for this lady. I vowed today that I would make her a priority every time I go for treatment. Last week there was a lady who was completing her final treatment that day and I congratulated her and wished her well and there were hugs all around but somehow it seemed anticlimactic. Shouldn't there be party hats and people wearing funny noses to celebrate? Today I got my answer - not everyone will be so fortunate. For now there will have to be well wishes, hugs and congratulations and a few tears all around.
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